Reporting Back From The Battlefield

What can I say? I am amazed that there is still someone out there reading my blog, considering the long absence. It makes me feel pretty good!

But I have no good to report. After a few serious heart issues and an emergency surgery I am now waiting for a new heart... in hospital. I am not going home until a transplant has been successful.

Knitting has not been happening for the last 2 1/2 months, although I am slowly getting stronger again thanks to modern chemistry. I hope to be able to transfer to Cologne to the Heart Centre until the Transplant, there I can see my family every day, be supplied by my LYS, (Maschenkunst...) and revive my blogging and pattern writing.

For those of you who have received a cryptic e-mail... please forgive me, I had 30 seconds on someones computer. I will start writing 'normal' e-mails again soon.

The Messy And The Dark Side Of Me

The Messy Part And More

That's the view one is presented with when entering my room. A big armchair I inherited from my Favorite Aunt, a footstool (barely visible in the lower left corner) that I inherited from Aunt Dini, the spinning wheel I can use to my delight and the table I pile my WIP's on. Where is the mess? Well, it's not in the picture. I am simply not able to get the whole 360* view one would need to see the overflowing basket with more WIP's, the big old pillowcase full with fleece, the cabinet with all the yarn, the big box full of knitting literature and notes, the two knitting related boxes under the bed and the pile of knitting stuff on the nightstand.

The photo to the left shows the Knee Caps I knitted for my Mom who has really bad problems with her knees. (Pattern idea comes from the book Knitting America.) The warmth of this untreated wool is good for her, and it is a labor of love indeed as I have spun the yarn myself and this was the first skein I made with a drop spindle.

My husband always said that he is going to have to find a place with loads of storing place as Baby has a gigantic pile of stuff (well, loads of relatives take care of that...) and my fiber obsession fills a small room quite well. Well, he has time until September/October, then we finally move to Cologne so we can be together all week long and not just on the weekends. (Any Cologne knitters, e-mail me...)

The "Dark Side" Of Me

This is a very, very special pair of socks. Not the pattern, that was easily made up, but indeed the fact that there is a pretty nasty mistake hiding in the left sock. One extra pattern repeat!
This is unheard of in my world of extreme pickiness, I'd rather stay up all night and redo the whole sock before letting that stand. I have done that kind of stuff many times, frogging, cursing, simply never looking at an idea again...
Well, those times are over.
I have decided that from now on I will relax, take a deep breath and evaluate if this stress is really worth it. With this pair of socks it was not, considering that nobody will be able to tell unless told, and I will have shoes and pant legs covering up most of this sock most of the time anyhow.

When I announced to my family that I was not redoing this sock the reactions where ranging from utter disbelief to shock to anger (at my creating false hope) to applause. One person was brave enough to file the information away for future use, maybe to blackmail me. Luckily I had my came out, so I'll be safe.

And: although I am already starting to make changes to patterns that I am actually knitting now they are small, such as using a different Cast On or omitting short Rows from heels. One pattern I am even following to the letter... I should be proud of myself.

Personal Observations

The last couple of weeks I have reviewed my blog, the appearance and ideals, as I want to improve myself. Things I have noticed are as follows:
-I have not mentioned my Blogaversary, my 100th Post, my 10,000 Visitor.
-Being a natural German Speaker I am not as eloquent as I'd prefer writing in English. Some of the funny stuff does get lost, and my thoughts come across scrambled sometimes.
-Baby Elijah is been given a lot of attention, I need to think about 'presenting' him to such a broad audience. Although I enjoy talking about him very much.
-My personal struggle with my disease has not been dealt with in the best possible way. I don't really like talking about myself like this, but it does open up opportunities, and lead me to create a group on Ravelry.
-I enjoy publishing patterns, but noticed that the critique is practically missing, at least in the comments. Or: nobody has any issues with my stuff, so that's a good thing then... Hehehe...

I am looking forward to improving this blog. My life is getting organized enough, and I feel strong enough to write more patterns, wish myself a belated good Blogaversary, and congratulate myself to all the neat things I did achieve so far. Blogging is fun.

An (Almost) Perfect Solution

My whole life I was somewhat annoyed with being organized. In school one had a notepad for homework, a class schedule and then any and all folders for all the different subjects. At work we had a folder for each report, each week, month, year. Man, that's exhausting, isn't it?

Now I don't have a problem with being organized, don't get me wrong. It is important to be organized although every person has a different idea of how this should work. I personally would need four things: a diary, a calendar, a scribble pad, an address book. Problem is that all four at once take a lot of room to carry around, it's potentially very heavy and takes valuable room away from my carry along knitting project.
You might think this is a very silly thing to talk about, but I remember how happy I was to find a simple solution for my problem: a "One-Page-One-Day" calendar, one that has a pocket for miscellaneous pieces of paper and a small address book to take out. Simple things can make happy, see?

Home, for now...

Well I am home for now, after a couple of very intense weeks in hospital (I almost had a C-Section on July 9th...) I have been allowed back to bed rest at home. I need to bring my overnight bag to all appointments just in case. So just wish me and Baby just about 2 more weeks of this body sharing experience...
But the good news right now is that the Baby grows well and is moving like there is nothing to do but exercise. Very important.

Knitting. I did knit, some... I did not get to knit as much as I wanted too, I was too exhausted to do much but sleep. But I made some progress and shall duly post pictures tomorrow. Or so. Promise.

And a huge thank you to the wonderful person that has been e-mailing me almost every day, you kept me a bit saner than I might have otherwise been. You know who you are. (You should...)

Confessions, Disasters And Some Volunteering

I need to fess up. There was always this gloating me that never understood how on earth one could work on more than 2, maybe 3 projects at the same time, and I prided myself in having a very low UFO rate for years and years. To my shame I need to confess that this is no longer applicable. In March I had 2 projects going, and about 6 planned. Now I am (actively) working on 5, and 5 more are sitting in a drawer, needles and notes with the yarn already. Not cast on, not in the works, but ready to go. Considering my attention span at the present time this sounds like I have gone mad. It truly does.I took a nice picture of the works in progress, and the nice toe up sock I am knitting for myself does not have a short row heel, I did not find it attractive with this type of pattern. Don't get me wrong: I still love short row heels, but they seem to be better designed to suit plain socks or really complicated ones, so I went out and tried to work a Dutch Heel in reverse. This tutorial confirmed that it could be done, and it actually was easy and comfortable to work on the first try. Believe me, I usually need more than one run at something new.

More proof that I need more sleep and less hormonal upheaval is the fact that I managed to SHRINK a perfectly well and beloved cardigan of mine. I knitted it, wore it, loved it, and yesterday apparently forgot that I should wash it like I always do, with caution and in the WOOL wash cycle. I did not even seem to notice how awfully long that washing machine was running, or the fact that it was spinning a lot more than usually. In the end I was avoiding a breakdown only by consoling myself with the fact that a 2-3 year old will cherish this as a warm winter jacket. Once I adjust the arms to a human length. Please refer to before and after pictures, apple for scale in the after picture.

Glenna has been asked 5 questions on her blog. (Her answers are just so much more eloquent than mine, please go look at them if this kind of thing interests you...) Other than me she did not force them on others, but asked for volunteers. Hey, it's not like I do much besides being an incubator right now, do I? So here it goes.

1. Do you prefer chocolate or vanilla?
Well... I was always a chocolate kind of girl. But I do prefer dark chocolate, and don't eat very much of it. And I would have to concede that I am a chocolate snob, I grew up in Germany and the supply there surely is superior...

2. If you could only pick 5 yarns to work with for the next year, which ones would they be?
This question is truly. truly evil. Only 5? What are you thinking? OK, well, it would have to be:
The Yarn Yard makes some awesome sock yarn. As long as I get my monthly fix I am fine. Frangipani has some awesome Guernsey 4 Ply, in 500g cones and it knits up very, very nicely. Would not want to miss this. Shetland Wool , do I need to say more? Shilasdair Yarns dyes their own local wool and their shop on the Isle of Skye is absolutely awesome. This is another sock yarn one can't have enough of.
Yes, I am not ashamed to tempt you to go shopping now, that just comes with the question. I unfortunately do not have enough financial backing to shop as much as I like, as hard as my husband tries he just does not make enough to buy that house with that extra room for yarn...

3. What is your favorite time of day and why?

As much as I like my sleep, as much as I like to sleep late, it has to be those quiet hours around sunrise. I always had trouble sleeping and it just is special to watch the foxes at 4 AM, coffee (decaf right now, bummer) in hand. It makes for some good knitting too, my mind seems to be able to think the clearest, although that might just be an illusion considering the sleep deprivation that usually factors in that time of day.

4. Do you have any life goals that you haven't gotten to yet?
This is very difficult. Right now I don't think I can really answer that, before I got pregnant I would have mentioned my wish to go back to university or start my own business, that kind of stuff. Now all I can think of is being a good Mom, and to keep being happy with my husband. It might sound cheesy, but being a Mom is a truly scary prospect, and very exciting to look forward too.

5. What's one thing you've learned about yourself since taking up knitting?
I am very patient (apparently) and extremely anal. Something as 'simple' as knitting can give me a lot of joy, and I actually have become a more mellow and calm personality. It also made me less selfish, 95% of stuff knitted goes to other people. I don't think that would happen with my wages, or my breakfast...

I shall go back to knitting now. I should get a couple of inches on this sock before I a) need a nap or b) get hungry again.

Meme!

I have been tagged by this nice Lady and this is actually my first time...
So here are the 'rules':
“Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those tagged need to write in their blogs the 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven others and list their names on your blog. You have to leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog.”

So here it goes:
1) I am obsessed with being a Mom soon. Not much else is going on in my life anymore.
2) I love cooking but am totally incapable of baking even decent cookies. Tragic, I tell ya!
3) I don't mind doing the dishes, but I hate putting them away.
4) Pretty much the only baby stuff I ever knitted is the set in the photo a looong time ago, for sale. (I know, I know. Shocking...)
5) I love NCIS, mostly because my Mom in Germany is watching it and we then can talk about all the gross details...
6) I want to live in the countryside so I can have the mini zoo I always wanted.
7) I had very, very short hair for 25 years, this is the first time in my life it's at about shoulder length.

So, here are my victims:
Rosie's Knits ,Cosmipluto Knits ,Geeks With Pointy Sticks ,Dances With Wool ,Twin Knit ,No Knit Sherlock ,and finally Pie Knits.
Please forgive me... and enjoy!!!

Spring Cleaning (failed....)

You should have seen my husbands eyes when I dug up my yarn from all corners of this really small apartment. Truly priceless... This picture is still missing 2 current project's as well as some odd left overs and 3 500g cones with Guernsey Wool from here and a couple of small bags full that are still in the USA, but otherwise we got things assembled completely.
Seriously, I can't say that I feel bad about having this much yarn in the house, and there is a list of projects waiting for about 1/2 of this already. And some of this is just wonderful finds like some hand spun Alpaca from the Edinburgh Farmers Market. (I got to find that man's website!) So off to a good summer!
Yes, my husband did say something about a "35 pound weight limit for wool in the house..."

Oh the pictures I could show you...

If my laptop was not broken and Lynix (my husbands laptop is running on that...) would accept photos from my digital camera. But unfortunately it does not, and now I'm sitting on a newly started cardigan (from what used to be the 'Best Friends Guernsey" in progress) and some very lovely socks with lacy accents... In my Mothers favorite color scheme. The yarn is from the Yarn Yard, another beautiful skein of sock heaven!

On a different note: I really like to read other knitters blogs. Some are popular, some are not very well known. But the variety of things to see and learn is just amazing! So it struck me a bit odd that there are a lot of people out there who won't even consider a blog if it does not get an appropriate amount of comments, let's say 50 at least. Why is that? Should it matter? Sure, each their own. No criticism intended, really. But there are so many wonderful blogs out there that are not popular at all, and yet the content is amazing. Ah, I should probably update my list!

What's new?

So now I have not been knitting since Christmas, pretty much. I guess sometimes life just gets out of control and so much crazy stuff has happened, from a death in my family to some really good news in my own life.
But I'm ready now to pick up the needles again. First order of business: that lingering Guernsey for my long suffering friend. She's been waiting so long now, and I just decided I did not like the design. I unraveled all 60% completed, and redesigned the whole thing. It will be worth it! And I feel some new energy, so I'll be able to complete this in acceptable time.
Next: the shawl for my Mom. do not like it anymore. The yarn? I am not sure. The pattern? I don't know. I think I just need to try something new altogether... My Mom has been waiting for a long time too, usually I am fast...
But most everyone is very forgiving, except the one pair of socks I need to make. So maybe that will be a small project to ease the Guernsey along. Good knitting!

Knitters Block?

I have been doing some 'inventory' and noticed that I have not been knitting much at all in the last 3 weeks... To me that is a rather astonishing development as I am permanently attached to my knitting, usually at least. Sure, there is stuff happening in my life that makes it a rather chaotic one at the time (not in a bad way) and I moved continents and I just went to Germany for my first Christmas there in 7 years. But no knitting? That requires some reflection.
It is not even a lack of ideas. I have plenty to work on, my own patterns and bought patterns that need trying out. I have a good yarn stash, I am not disliking the idea of starting a new project and there are not too many projects unfinished. Very few are 'on-demand' and require real effort. I actually have time to knit, and plenty too. So what is it?
So I went and looked at the years I have been knitting now. Sorry, I know it sounds cheesy, it's not that long after all. I think I did explore a lot of things, I did even tackle my biggest fear and nemesis - the sock... But I am somewhat partial to what I like and don't like. I like to knit Lace, Fair Isle, Two Strand Color Knitting, Structured Knits and now anything socks. I love the 1940's and Traveling Stitches. I really don't like the Color Knitting that uses more than 2 colors at once, it just confuses my simple mind I guess. I don't like to knit bulky stuff or fuzzy stuff, the interesting new yarns that one can buy just don't ring with me. For some reason I don't really like to knit for Baby's, not to say I don't like them I just don't like knitting for them. Although I (secretly) admire all the ones who whip up these gorgeous Baby creations to adore those little bundles of joy. I do like to design my own stuff jet I lack some understanding of technique since I am stubbornly self thought. And I am my own worst critic, just ask my husband who likes to wince in agony when I just got to unravel something (again) because that one stitch in row 35...
But I'm digressing. I think the reason why I am not really knitting at the moment (aside from my chaotic life right now) is the fear that I might get stuck with my likes and dislikes, that I might miss out on something cool because I refuse to try it or perhaps there is a fear of not being able to improve my skills. Not that they don't need improving, trust me they do! But somehow I have not really tried as much new stuff as I was hoping to in 2006 and although I am very pleased with my projects I just want more. New experiences, new techniques, new stuff period.
And I want to knit for myself. Oh yea, maybe this is the year I actually manage to be selfish, to turn down the big eyes that look at me longing for a new pair of socks or a new shawl... right. It's always worth a try.

So I guess I better get moving and stop complaining...

Injured hand...

So I'm working away on my Mystery Project and my Christmas List and then I manage to slam the door on my hand. How clumsy can one get? I'm now 4 days behind, which at the present time is about as nerve wrecking as it can get. ARRRGH!

Something Totally Different For A Change.

I would like to summarize some thoughts that I have been chewing on for the last months. And I could imagine that there are some fellow knitters (and others, of course!) who agree with me. But feel free to disagree.
I am knitting out of the love for the material, the creation of something practical and long wearing. I admire the quality and beauty of the (usually) natural materials I use, and I am being conscious about where I get my materials, how they are produced and the history and tradition that just comes with this interest. And a desire for simplicity, a ball of yarn and a set of needles. I can take it anywhere and work on it.

To me that also transpires into other areas of my life. I am always seeking to simplify my life, fed up with the demands of society as we know it. "Be perfect, and you can only achieve that goal by buying our products" and "today's woman desires to be loved and admired, have this, it is a must". What I am being told from most fronts is that I should look hot, smell good, be a career woman and jet able to miraculously show of my sparkling house and healthy, exotic foods. To me that seems unreal, and the means I am advised to use (and the person I am told to be) are chemical, nutritional and psychological time bombs.
For the last years I have worked on perfecting MY version of this picture. I have yet to learn a lot, I admit I am rather challenged in some regards. The picture above is of the only cake I ever made, and that is just the beginning. But here are some practical ways that brought me a greater fulfillment in my life.

• I clean with basic cleaners such as Baking Soda and Vinegar. Saves me a ton of money, cleans very well and my house smells fresh.
• I cook with seasonal and common ingredients. Of course that is my version of it. After all Curry Powder and Molasses might not be a common ingredient to some, but to me it is as I am using that stuff all the time.
• I see a supermarket from the inside about... every 8 weeks when I need to stock up on Toilet Paper and canned beans. I do go to my local Health Food store for muesli or rice or baking supplies etc. But it never amounts to much.
• I support local farms and get my vegetables and fruits delivered every two weeks via a box scheme. I love that because it is less work for me, mostly seasonal produce and fresh as can be. I also get herbs and salad with that.
• I love my weekly farmers market. Handmade cosmetics, marmalades and even beer. I don't really pay more (often I actually pay less as I would with a weekly supermarket run!) and I have local people that I can talk to and learn from in front of me.
• I buy things like laundry detergent in bulk, from sources that produce such things from natural ingredients. I actually tend to use less and pay less.
• I love to walk everywhere. I know how to dress for the weather, so rain or snow won't bother me. Heat does... personal preference.

And on top of all this I take charge of my families health and wellbeing in a way that is positive, fun and educational. I find this way of life to be more basic and yet more fulfilling than any painted picture advertised on TV. And I find it disturbing how easy we accept the misleading idea of a rich life that is now the norm.

Well, that's what I think. Feel free to comment.

Cats and Wool

Here is just proof that knitters just seem to be in love with cat's. Despite the claws and teeth that usually come with them. For example the cute black and white one (yea, the innocent looking one in the small picture!) ate one of my projects once. I think I worked about 2 months on the pattern, some bavarian traditional twist-the-stitch-in-each-row thing that I had to recreate from a photo, luckily for her she was still a very cute kitten and therefore I just cut my losses and gave her dinner.
The other one got caught in the act there, but she was able to maintain her cool and did not run off with her catch. So I just untangled the wool from the claws which caused her to fall asleep on my lap.


Sadly we had to give up both of them when we moved continents, and it did upset me because I never felt we did right by the two animals. I wish I could have brought them with me but we would not have been able to give them a proper home here.